Monday, February 22, 2016

A Fistful of Thoughts...about Irish queens, unwanted sequels and 'white face'!

Alright, so this week is a pretty easy one to discuss.  It's pretty much a collection of "would you watch it?", "why are they making this?", "how can you defend this?" and "are we ok with this?" with a tagged on spectacle of Oscar f*ckery!

So let's talk.

First up; "Would you watch this?"

Saorise Ronan, who is currently nominated for Lead Actress for her beautiful performance in Brooklyn, is in talks to star in the next adaptation of an Ian McEwan novel, this time On Chesil Beach.  As I'm sure you're aware, a McEwan adaptation made her a star by providing her the role of Briony, the trouble making young girl in Atonement.  It also scored her her first Oscar nomination.  I haven't read the novel.  I was going to, but the reviews were less than ecstatic and so I passed, despite my passionate love of Atonement (book and film).  Still, the plot seems rather interesting (on their marriage night they discuss their pasts and their approach to their marital duties) and feels as though it could have serious promise as a dramatic piece.  I should pick up the novella.

So, would you watch it?  I will.

Next; "Why are they making this?"

I've noted before that I adore the hell out of Mary Poppins.  It's a genuine film, and there aren't many of those.  I also kind of adore Emily Blunt.  I see absolutely no reason to make a Mary Poppins sequel set 20 years after the events in the original.  Even if I did see a need for this movie (which I don't), I certainly don't see a need for it to be directed by Rob Marshall.  I am not ok with this people!

Someone, please tell me why they are making this?  I mean, I can't even imagine that it would make any money.  It's not like Blunt is some sort of box-office draw, and it's not like Saving Mr. Banks made any money so I don't know why they insist on destroying this classic.  I mean, at least it isn't a remake and yet...NO!!!

Moving on; "How can they defend this?"

I love how this news broke in the wake of #OscarsSoWhite, but I'm sure you've heard that the lesser Fiennes is going to play Michael Jackson in some sort of road trip movie.  Now he's defending the casting.  Listen, I don't really care.  I'm glad they cast him, because this is some of the most hilariously satisfying casting news I've ever heard, and like I said, the timing could NOT have been better, but still, you can't seriously defend this; can you?

"I deal in imagination, so I don't think imagination should have rules stamped on them,"

LOL, really Joseph?  Where did his career go wrong?  I don't understand what happened.  Was Ralph really just too big a shadow to step out of?


Now; "Are we ok with this?"

We've all known this was coming for a while now, but now we actually have a projected release date for Denis Villeneuve's sequel to Blade Runner.  January 12, 2018.  


What kind of date dump is this?  Do you know what movies come out in January?  I don't either...because no one cares!  Now, maybe they mean that the film is going to have an LA Oscar release in December of next year and then open wide in January, but if they are literally planning to have this just open in January then what kind of faith do they have in this?  Gosling is a massive box office draw, and Villeneuve is hot right now (whether he deserves to be hot right now is another discussion) and so you'd think they'd have more faith, but maybe they all know that this feels like a really dumb idea.

And I LOVE Blade Runner.

So, are you ok with this?  I kind of hate Villeneuve's movies so far, so I'm all for this being a massive flop and destroying his career.

And finally, we get to the spectacle of Oscar f*ckery, and what amazing f*ckery it is!!!

Did you hear about who is going to be performing at the Oscars?  Did you hear who isn't?  Oh, yes, this is one serious misstep!  Now, while The Academy itself is going to get the heat for this, let's all remember that this was not a decision made by The Academy, but by the producers, who decided that it was a good idea to cut the two less 'starry' Original Song performances (while allowing Sam Smith, Lady Gaga and The Weeknd to perform) in order to have room for...Dave Grohl to perform something that doesn't matter and that everyone will complain about the next day?  A transgender singer and a South Korean opera singer getting the boot in favor of a popular (remind me why?) rock star?  This is all so messy and gross and instantly portrays these two songs as the 'lesser' entries in the lineup.

I really hope one of them wins, even is Manta Ray is the dumbest song nominated in this category in a LONG time.

I'm sorry, but what?

Well, enough about me...

Let's talk about you:
Paskalis talks Spotlight
Sati shoots the s*it about 'Dicapring' and other stuff
Alex talks John Goodman
Jenna & Allie dote on cinematic animals
Matt expresses his affection for The Spirit Awards
Connor continues to predict the Oscar winners
Jay saw Ricki and the Flash
Ruth runs down her week
Mario reviews The Witch
Britt watched some TV
Kevin continues to defend his ridiculous feelings towards Chi-Raq
Rodney reviews The Martian


  1. OK-Oscars is playing it safe because I would rather see the Transgender person and the Opera singer than this guy. I am finding that the States seem to have no further original thoughts which is why they are deciding to F up on Mary Poppins and Blade Runner. They should leave well enough alone. As for watching a movie about marriage and hear them talk about it over night...zzzzzzzzz

    1. Yeah, Hollywood really seems to be a wasteland of ideas ATM, which is a shame because there are so many untapped sources out there.

  2. Okay, okay, here goes.
    1 - Yes, I'd definitely watch that! I love Saorise Ronan right now.
    2 - I have no idea why they're making that! Whyyy!
    3 - Oh dear.
    4 - No! Although, Ex Machina was a January release in the UK...
    Thank you for the link love! :)
    - Allie

    1. Thank you so much for playing along!

  3. 1. I would watch that, but I wouldn't be in a hurry to do so.

    2. No idea why. I don't want a remake, but I could understand that better than a sequel. Hopefully, this gets stuck in the machine and never sees the light of day.

    3. I don't know what to make of this. Have you looked at the premise? The whole thing sounds ridiculous.

    4. Meh...don't really care since I dislike Blade Runner a good deal. That said, Villenueve's slow, brooding style seems to be a good fit so it might be great.

    5. Of course, they did. Simple math says more people know the name Dave Grohl. Doesn't make it a good decision, because it's not. It just makes it a typical one, sadly.

    1. LOL, the premise for the Jackson/Brando/Taylor road trip movie is all sorts of hilarious and has potential to be all the worst ways!

  4. JFC at that Kevin shade, man :P What is the worst thing about that whole abomination known as Blade Runner is that I just know they will bring Ford for one fucking scene where that manchild shoots him. I will legit have an aneurysm when it happens. I'd be all over that thing if Ford was lead but noooo let's replace actual man with boys.

    Ew. Ew. Ew. Outrage.

    1. Blade Runner sequel*

      I'm so outraged whenever writing about this I can barely type

    2. Yeah. Drew just likes to give me shit for the sake of it. He knows I like the attention. I have no thoughts on this Blade Runner thing. I don't really like the original all that much as it is. Barely got through it. But Villeneuve and Gosling? That makes it intriguing enough, I suppose.

    3. LOL, I tease the ones I love.

      I will see this Blade Runner movie, since the original is...well...a masterpiece...but I'm very skeptical about the whole thing.

  5. 1) Yes, I will watch anything with Saoirse Ronan in it provided it doesn't come from a Stephanie Meyer novel.

    2) I agree, why make that? I doubt any Mary Poppins fans were begging for a sequel or whatever the fuck that's going to end up being.

    3) Shut up, Lesser Fiennes, your casting is white washing and is a terrible idea. Unless this is some weird social experiment to see if his career tanks even more, if so, then well done. It probably will.

    4) I haven't seen Blade Runner, I plan on watching it, but I love Villeneuve and Deakins is shooting it but wtf with that release date? That's horrid.

    5) That's a bunch of bullshit. Showing the lesser known Oscar songs gives them more exposure and helps people search out the films. We just saw Lady Gaga perform at the Grammays and the Super Bowl, do we really need her again? Does anyone actually like that Sam Smith song? And they want to shorten acceptances speeches awhile allowing Lady Gaga and her massive ego perform? Fuck off.

    Thanks for the link!

    1. LOL, every time I read Lesser Fiennes (even from my own pen) I laugh.

      The Oscar mess is...tragic.

  6. To answer your question on which movies come in January for us Brits its a majority of the Oscar nomines.

    Why do you dislike Villeneuve? I love all of his films that I've seen and I'm looking forward to seeing what he does with Blade Runner 2.

    1. So, I loved Enemy...but that's where it ends for me. Sicario is his next best, but it's such a conundrum experience for's ok.

      Prisoners is one of the worst movies I've ever seen...ever, and Incendies is such a mess. I haven't seen his two earlier works, but there is something about the way he puts a story together that upsets me...almost gutterally.

  7. Two things.

    I hate the idea of a Mary Poppins sequel/prequel/whatever, but Emily Blunt has enough credit in the bank with me to go with her on this if she chooses to tread heavily. Trepidatiously optimistic, even with Rob fcuking Marshall directing.

    Second, I'm not okay with Blade Runner being sequeled, especially with a gratuitous cameo from Harrison and that shit-eating grin of Gosling providing next-to-no interest in the project for me. However, similarly to my previous point, Denis Villeneuve has enough credit in the bank with me to be mildly interested to see where he takes this. I think he has the wherewithal to give the film at least some kind of solidity.

    Cheers for the linkage!

    1. I love Blunt, don't get me wrong, but this whole project seems messy. The only time Mary Poppins should be redone, whether in remake or sequel form, would be on Broadway.

  8. In order:
    1. I'd have to read more about the film to decide but Saorise Ronan is a fine actress so it might be worth it.

    2. A stupid foolish idea and immediately torpedoed by Rob Marshall's hiring.

    3. The whole project sounds like a theatre of the absurd, although Stockard Channing as Liz Taylor is brilliance.

    4. Even if the movie's initial release is before Christmas to qualify for Oscars it doesn't feel like that kind of film and having managed a theatre years ago I can tell you that January and February are dumping grounds, just like the last few weeks of August, for studio trash.

    5. I hate the musical numbers at the Oscars, always have and always will but I'm willing to put up with the nominated songs because ALL of them belong there. Picking and choosing is just wrong. Either cut them all or included them all and forget about those awful production numbers that everyone criticizes since they stink up the joint. Cutting those two more niche performers smacks of favoritism and in this year couldn't possibly be a worse decision.

    1. Amen to Stockard Channing casting. LOVE IT!!!

      And yes, January is such horrid dumping grounds. I don't understand this at all. May...that would make sense.

  9. Antony not performing at the Oscars....? *cries* FUCK YOU OSCARS!!!! *runs and cries*

    1. Agreed...even if I really hate that song.

  10. January means something very different - in the US it's the cinematic wasteland after Christmas, but here it's loaded with Oscar films! This January we had The Revenant, Carol, Spotlight, Room, The Danish Girl, The Big Short and The Hateful Eight ;)

    Still, that does mean we have to wait...

    On the topic of Blade Runner - I don't think that it's such a bad idea? Maybe? Villeneuve is one of the best directors working today so if anyone can pull it off, he can. Mary Poppins is a bit iffy though - just leave the classics alone!

    Awesome post as always dude!

    1. I understand that, and January here also is when a lot of Oscar contenders wide-release...but this didn't indicate 'wide' release, which means (or indicates) that it's only release will be January...which means it will be a non-Oscar contender going up against the Oscar contenders people are trying to see before the actual Oscars.


  11. Man, I'll watch Saorise Ronan in anything, let alone something directed by Joe Wright. Thanks so much for the link!

  12. I love Saorise Ronan. I'll watch whatever she's in from now on. I will most likely avoid the Mary Poppins remake. See my comment to Sati for my Blade Runner feelings. Michael Jackson played by any Fiennes doesn't work for me. On the Oscar song stuff, well, that's usually my least favorite part of the Oscars, so I won't care either way. I think Dave Grohl is badass, so I may actually pay attention to that one, then defend him when everyone else complains.

    Thanks for the link! I love your passion on Chi-Raq (still looking for a full write-up from you, bro!) even if it is just plain wrong.

    1. My Chi-Raq review drops next month...I'll be sure to send you a link once it's live!

  13. YES to the Ronan film. I'm so there.

    NO to the Mary Poppins sequel. I love Emily Blunt, but, just, NOOOO!!!

    That Fiennes casting is a real head-scratcher. Really?

    I HATE that Blade Runner sequel release date, but I hope it's amazing. Nobody expected Fury Road to be very good, so I'm hoping BR 2 proves everybody wrong as well.

    NO to this nonsense from the Academy. Like, how is this a good idea in any way? It would be kind of awesome if Simple Song #3 or Manta Ray won, for sure.

    1. Pretty much exactly what I'm feeling.