Friday, February 5, 2016

2014 Mouthi Awards Ceremony


The ceremony for the 2014 Mouthi Awards took place in San Antonio, TX at the Tobin Center for Performing Arts on December 31st, 2014 at 8:00 PM, Eastern Standard Time.  Due to technical difficulties, it was not available for widespread presentation until now.

It was hosted by international musical sensation, Celine Dion.

Here are the highlights:


"Please welcome to the stage, Celine Dion!"


"How is everyone tonight!  Are you ready for the most important event of the year?  I know I am.  Let me hear you!  Are you ready?  Louder!  I can't believe the year we've had, the year in music.  Such incredible artists have been streaming in and out of my ear all year long and I swear to God I'm going to burst with excitement.  I feel like I need to loosen up.  Don't you?  Don't you feel like you could burst?  All this screaming, all this excitement, all this cheering, all this happiness!  Loosen up with me!”


"Please welcome to the stage, Lorde!"


"Please welcome to the stage, Twenty One Pilots!"


"Last year we won this.  That was pretty great for us.  We need this industry because, sadly, without it we'd be rather aimless and would probably just hang out places and amount to nothing, but thankfully because of this industry we amount to something.  Hopefully one of these five will amount to something once they win this award."


"...and the winner is..."

Bleachers
"This is such a great feeling, I have to say.  Sometimes you take risks.  Leaving fun. and starting a journey on my own was a risk.  Trying to create a sound that was new and different and organically my own was a risk.  The best part about risks is that they can pay off, and when they do, this kind of stuff happens."

"Please welcome to the stage, Nick Cave!"


"Writing.  It's what I do.  It's the truest expression of our inner-selves, there on the page for everyone else to see.  These are the nominees."



"Wait...I thought I was nominated?"
[Note to Viewer:  Swift's confusion is generated from the fact that she was originally nominated for her songwriting on the song This Love from her album 1989.  Unfortunately, a member of her 'squad' (who will remain nameless, for fear Swift may write a song about her) sent e-mails asking me to give Swift the win in this category.  Since I frown on that sort of behavior, the nomination was revoked and Say You Love Me was nominated in its place.]

"...and the winner is..."


Johnny McDaid & Ed Sheeran
"Wow.  I'm beside myself right now.  I want to give a special shout out to my girl, Taylor.  I'm just as confused as you are, but Jessie, I love you and was so happy to work with you on Say You Love Me, so this whole surprise is a touch bittersweet.  That being said, Johnny, my mate, I'm sorry you weren't here to accept this with me, but it was a pleasure and we should totally do it again!"

"Please welcome to the stage, Birdy!"


"Hello, hi, how is everyone.  I'll be quick.  Here are the nominees for Best Extended Play of the Year."



"...and the winner is..."


Childish Gambino
"SNAAAAP!  This is for all of my fans and for all of the artists out there keeping it real and putting music out there for a generation that needs a voice.  This is for that boy or that girl, and you know who you are.  Here is your voice!"

"Please welcome to the stage, The Civil Wars!"


"This is kind of awkward, since we broke up earlier this year and aren't really used to being around each other anymore."
"Not sure why you have to make this about us.  Can't we just announce the nominees?"
"Why don't you announce the nominees?"
"GOD D*MN, JOY!  Why are you always like this?  This is why I don't talk to you anymore!"
"Like what?  What am I doing?  Maybe if you talked to me about it we wouldn't be in this place."
"There is nothing to talk about!"


We'll be right back after this short break...

During this commercial break, we invite you to listen to the first of the five nominees for Favorite Song of the Year:



"Please welcome back to the stage, Celine Dion!"


"So, that was awkward.  Before the break we tried to give out the award for Best Collaborative Vocal Performance, but, well, you saw what happened.  Here are the nominees."


"...and the winner is..."


Christina Aguilera & A Great Big World
"YES!  MY GOD, YES!  This is so incredible.  Where are you, Ian and Chad?  Are you here?  It's ok, you can stay in your seats.  I got this.  It was such a pleasure working with you on this.  Such a beautiful song, and such beautiful vocals if I don't say so myself.  Thank you Mouthis for this award.  I'll treasure it always!"

"Please welcome to the stage, Zooey Deschanel of She & Him!"


"So, Ward and I were supposed to present together, but last minute he got a letter from the creator of the Mouthis saying that he was no longer invited to the event and that I was supposed to come alone.  And then it asked him to ask me if I wanted to go out for drinks after the show.  This seems as good a time as any to say that...I'm engaged."



"...and the winner is..."


Sam Hunt
"Wow.  I really didn't see this coming.  It's so weird to call this a cover song, though, since I wrote this song, even though Keith recorded it first, so really I just sang my own song, but that's cool.  I'll take it."



"I'm sorry Sam.  I know this is your moment or whatever but I can't just stand there and watch this without asking...WHAT THE F*CK?  Like, you ask me out at your award's show and then DON'T GIVE ME THE AWARD?  And I don't really care, but you had me present!  Alone!  And I'm not even the winner!  And his song isn't even technically a cover!  OH MY GOD!!!"



"You will not cut me off, Drew!  You will not!  You will no..."

During this commercial break, we invite you to listen to the second of the five nominees for Favorite Song of the Year:



"Please welcome back to the stage, Celine Dion!"


"Well this is messy!  We are running out of time and so some of the presenters have been cut.  I'll be taking over for a while, so everyone get ready for some fun!  What, hold on...there is someone talking in my earpiece.  You mean I can't improvise?  I have to just announce the nominees?  There goes the fun.  Here they are."



"...and the winner is..."


Indochine & Carbon Airwaves
"Merci beaucoup."



"In case you didn't know, he said, 'Thank you very much'.  I know because I speak French.  Yes, I'm better than you."



"...and the winner is..."



"We are incredibly grateful for this.  We're not used to winning awards.  This is unbelievable.  Thank you so much."



"Beautiful, just beautiful.  Moving on."



"...and the winner is..."



"This is beyond my wildest dreams.  Beyond them all.  To have started in the back, working my butt off...I'm sorry...I told myself I wouldn't cry...but I learned so much from working with such great people and allowing them to show me, to guide me, to push me to who I am now.  To have started there and come to here, I'm just over the moon right now.  Thank you so much!"



"That was so moving.  I think I need a minute.  Next category, please."



"...and the winner is..."



"I'm beside myself, truly I am.  I just..."
[audible sobbing]
"I have to go..."



"What was that, Mr. Smith?  Hold your s*it together, young man.  On that note, I need a drink!  We'll be back in a few."

During this commercial break, we invite you to listen to the third of the five nominees for Favorite Song of the Year:


"Please welcome back to the stage, Celine Dion!"


"What a night!  Anyone else feeling drunk?  I'm on my 7th gin + tonic and I'm feeling GOOOOOOOOOOOOD!  Can I hear a, "Hell yeah" from the rest of my people?  You feeling it?  Not so much?  What's wrong?"

"Please welcome to the stage, M.I.A.!"


"I'm still not sure what these Mouthi things are.  I have a few sitting around somewhere and yet I still don't know why I'm here."



"...and the winner is..."


Azealia Banks
"That's right!  So glad you had the decency to reward the most deserving.  Now let's get the rest of this over with.  I'll stay right here."



"...and the winner is..."


Azealia Banks
"I'll take that!"

"Please welcome to the stage, Ryan Tedder!"


"It's a long road to fame.  Let's face it, half the nominees here aren't even famous.  What is fame?  I mean, I should know, since I'm famous.  You know what I do know, rock music?  Well, pop-rock, I know pop-rock well.  Who knows what these guys know."



"...and the winner is..."


Indochine
"Ceci est un honneur."



"Yeah, I don't know what he said."



"...and the winner is..."


Indochine
"..."

"Please welcome to the stage, Eminem!"


"Guess what...he's not here.  You know who is...me!  I know urban music.  Have you heard my cover of Treat Her Like a Lady?  Yeah, I know urban music well."



"...and the winner is..."


Drake, Lil' Wayne & Nicki Minaj
"You guys, this is too much.  I'm always so emotional about this because this music is my life.  Boys, I love you two and I can't wait to do this with you again."
"Girl, you know how we feel."
"For life!"
"And Iggy, I got a pen if you need it, or would you like me to write you a hook?"


"BURN!!!  You better hope Iggy doesn't win this next award.  You viewers at home, maybe you should hope that she does!"





"...and the winner is..."


J. Cole
"I didn't expect this.  Nicki, I thought you had this, so I'm sorry, but I'm also beside myself with joy right now.  This album is so important to me.  It's about who I am, where I came from, and I wrote it to inspire those, young and old, who understand what it means to come from that place and work to rise up.  Thank you so much!"

During this commercial break, we invite you to listen to the fourth of the five nominees for Favorite Song of the Year:


"Please welcome to the stage, Jason Isbell!"


"Good evening everyone.  I'm here to present the awards within the Country categories, and I'm very proud to be here tonight to do that.  Country music is the music of the heart, of the soul, and each of these songs contains ample amounts of both."


"...and the winner is..."

Little Big Town
"Oh my goodness!  This is amazing.  What a wonderful category filled with friends and talented artists and people we look up to and we're just so honored to be here and be...kind of drunk, I'm not going to like, we're kind of drunk!"
"Who isn't?"
"Jason isn't drunk...look at him.  He's stiff as a board.  You're not that stiff if you're drunk."
"I know a lot of stiff drunks."
"I'm stiff right now."
"Jason, we'll take it from here.  Go see Celine.  She's got plenty to go around!"


"...and the winner is..."

Caleb Caudle
"I'd first like to say that Jason isn't stiff, he's humbled, as am I, to be here tonight.  This is our art, and we don't take it lightly.  Second, I'm honored to not only accept this award, but to do so in the presence of such incredible talent.  Who am I up amidst the likes of Rosanne Cash and Sturgill Simpson?  I'm no one.  I am someone up against Blake Shelton, but that isn't saying a whole lot.  Regardless, thank you for this."


"Please welcome to the stage, VV Brown!"


"Hi everyone.  I'm here to present the awards within the Alternative categories.  I have spent my career defying genre, and this category is a beautiful representation of acts that are neither this nor that but are something wholly their own.  It is a category about unique identity.  Here are the nominees."


"...and the winner is..."


"Me?  This is too much.  I had no idea I was even in the running for a win here.  I thought for sure this was going to Jack, and you are so deserving Jack, and if I could I'd share this with you."


"Stop, sweetheart; we don't give away our awards.  Take it, put it in your purse, sit down.  Besides, Jack already has a Mouthi in his lap."


"...and the winner is..."

Bleachers
"Wow, this is too cool.  First off, thanks Jillian.  You're too kind, but you keep your Mouthi because now I have two!"

"Please welcome back to the stage, Celine Dion!"


"It's getting down to the bottom, my friends.  Just a few more of these categories to go before we find out which albums Drew finds the most impressive of the year.  He asked me to present the Pop categories and I'm so excited to do so.  So excited!"


"...and the winner is..."


"This is just the coolest night, I have to say.  I write these songs because they mean something to me, but to know that they mean something to someone else, to know that they are reaching you, Drew, I'm just so incredibly touched.  This is why I make music."


"If I were you, I wouldn't sit down yet."


"...and the winner is..."


"No s*it!  This is un-f*cking-believable.  Taylor, girl, you know I love you, and I know we both thought that you were going to dominate tonight, but holy change of events!  I own you so much, Tay...so much.  Drew, I now owe you a s*it-ton too!"


During this commercial break, we invite you to listen to the final of the five nominees for Favorite Song of the Year:


"Please welcome to the stage, Miley Cyrus!"


"What the f*ck is UP!  Make some noise!  It's down to the final two awards of the night, and first up is Favorite Song of the Year.  As you're probably aware, I was a favorite to win this last year and then, I didn't, but who's bitter?  Am I bitter?  No.  Not sure why we need to discuss this category any further since it's pretty apparent that d*ck Ed Sheeran is winning this.  Yes, I see you smirking at me you self righteous ginger.  Stay in your sit till I call your name.  F*ck, you already know the nominees but here they are again in case you forgot."


Ed Sheeran
"I'm sorry Miley, I can't hear you when your shirt is off.  Maybe you should put it back on if you want me to pay attention.  Oh, nevermind, maybe if I do this..."


"Yup, that works.  Anyways, way to derail this whole amazing evening.  Thank you so much, once again, Drew.  This is such a cool feeling...and even though I've been here before, every time feels like the first when it's this sweet!"

"Please welcome to the stage, Jay Leno!"


"And then there were twelve; twelve albums that Drew thinks are the best of the year.  I'm here to tell you about seven of them.  Somehow this makes sense."

#12

#11

#10

#09

#08

#07

#06

"Please welcome back to the stage, Celine Dion!"


"So, I was in the bathroom during the last break and I saw Nicki Minaj doing this and it got me wondering why I never tried.  It just looked like so much fun.  Doesn't this look like fu...huh...what's that?  Oh, there's one more award to give out?  Ooops."


Ed Sheeran
"Oh my god!  This is just the coolest!  Album of the Year?  I don't even know what else there is to say, except...I see you Miley, and I can still see your t*ts."


"It's all been sung, and now it's time to go home!  Can someone call me a cab?"

26 comments:

  1. I can mention a lot of more better albums for the Urban Contemporary category, BETTER than The Pinkprint and Reclassified. The Pinkprint has just filler garbage (Only, aka one of the worst songs ever, Buy a Heart, Anaconda, one of the most offensive song ever, The Night Is Still Young, one of the most boring songs ever) in it that makes it very, very mediocre for me. There were some killer hip-hip albums that year, Under Pressure by Logic, The Water[s] by Mick Jenkins (though that isn't really really an album but a great mixtape), Dark Comedy by Open Mike Eagle, Piñata by Freddie Gibbs and Madlib and especially Run The Jewels 2, please check it out, one of the most fiery hip-hop albums I heard.

    I find a bit Ed Sheeran boring but some of his tunes are damn good, don't disagree with his win(s). Truffle Butter...hahaha, I like the song, despite thinking that it's a pretty bad choice for one of the best songs of the year. Marilyn Monroe and Trouble are also great. Love Tove Lo, she is incredible, one of my favourite female singers at the moment. 1989 was alright, but Style is absolutely amazing in all the ways. Shut Up and Dance is one the best things ever, seriously, I love that song. Sam Smith is boring to me but he has a lot of talent so I don't really disagree. Hozier maybe was a bit better. This is so strange, I heard Say You Love Me once like a few weeks ago by accident, when I went coffee shopping, but this Jessie Ware must be really great if she won over Sia AND Jennifer Hudson.

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    1. I listened to 108 albums from 2014...and I know that I missed some great ones, but I had to cut off somewhere. I haven't heard any of the Urban Contemporary albums you mention...and I have no doubt they were better than The Pinkprint and Reclassified, two albums that I like but don't love.

      We've talked Sheeran before, I believe. I'm unashamed of my adoration of him.

      LOL, I love Truffle Butter. It's the perfect Hip Hop song. So effing catchy. Tove Lo is great too. So glad you agree there.

      Sam Smith is a touch boring, now, which is why his only nom/win is for his voice, which is all sorts of amazing.

      Jessie Ware is a goddess.

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  2. This must be a disaster of an award show. While I will admit I do like a few songs by Celine Dion, I don't really like her very much as I think she is over-exposed but I don't have anything against her personally.

    OK, I don't remember anything I listened to in 2014. Nothing at all. Besides, I still think Ed Sheeran's music is rubbish and he's a bloody ginger who wishes he was a cool as Mick Hucknall.

    If I ever find myself in a situation where I would sleep with Taylor Swift, I'd better make sure I'd have my lawyer nearby in case she decides to write songs about me and that I will own half of the publishing and then make my own album which I will release for free about how much of a bitch she really is.

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    1. But the disaster is what makes this awards show so much fun!

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    2. Maybe in your day but back then. It was about good music and things that meant something.

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    3. Gurl, this whole ceremony is purposefully...a joke! You do know that, right?

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    4. I'm a dude... no... I don't know what I am anymore... at least I'm not Bruce Jenner.

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    5. Maybe I'll approach her about hosting this year's Mouthi Awards!

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  3. It's a good thing this was on your site, Drew. If I ran into Celine Dion anywhere else I would've immediately clicked away. I feel bad for her having a rough go of it lately, though.

    And Taylor Swift is quickly becoming American Dion for me.

    Fun awards. Having a hard time remembering what the hell came out in '14.

    Not a big Ed Sheeran fan, but won't begrudge him. Glad to see Azelea Banks get some love. What a fun album that is. Also happy to see FKA twigs get some love.

    I've heard that Drake, Wayne, & Nicki song a billion times and never knew the name of it. Thanks. Great song. However, I agree with Robert that The Pinkprint wasn't really that good and there were a lot better Urban Contemporary albums out there that year than that and a couple of nominees (yes, I looked up 2014 to help me remember). Some of my faves, in no particular order:

    Nobody's Smiling - Common
    Friends & Lovers - Marsha Ambrosius
    ...and then you shoot your cousin - The Roots
    Run the Jewels 2 - Run the Jewels
    Blank Project - Neneh Cherry
    Pinata - Freddie Gibbs and Madlib
    Lord Steppington - The Step Brothers
    Good To Be Home - Blu

    That said, I'm OK the win for J. Cole.

    No love for the following?

    Art Official Age - Prince
    Ultraviolence - Lana del Rey
    St. Vincent - St. Vincent
    Or, my top album of that year...

    Everybody Down by Kate Tempest.

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    1. What's with the Dion hate? BOOOO!!! She's a bounty of amazing, from her voice to her hilarious personality. She's gold!

      Glad you're a fan of Banks' album. It's so great, and so unexpected.

      I love that you gave me suggestions. Like I said to Robert, I listened to 108 albums in preparation for this show and I know I missed some great stuff. I've been so out of touch with the Urban Contemporary genre for too long, and so I haven't even heard of some of the people you mention. I do nominate Neneh Cherry, you'll notice, in Dance/Electronica Album of the Year.

      J. Cole's album is pretty incredible.

      I didn't care much for Ultraviolence. St. Vincent's album was probably 6th for me in Alternative Album of the Year, to be honest. Great record.

      I now want to look up this Kate Tempest album. Never heard of her!

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    2. Kate Tempest is an English singer/rapper/songwriter. The album really needs to be listened to from, start to finish and in sequential order. The reason is each song is thenext chapter in a continuous narrative of the love story of a masseuse (the happy ending kind) and a small time gangster. I would love to hear your thoughts on it.

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    3. That sounds...amazing! I just added it to my Spotify 'listen to' list. I'll DM you once I get to it!

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  4. Wow, I felt like I've actually watched this award show by reading this post. I've never even heard of Mouthi Awards but then again I'm rubbish when it comes to contemporary music. I've only heard one Ed Sheeran's song and I quite like it. As for Celine Dion, I actually like some of her less famous songs, i.e. Only One Road, Taking Chances, oh and The Prayer though that one is quite famous.

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    1. LOL, Ruth...this is completely fake, you know that right? The Mouthis are my personal awards. I made up every single aspect of this. LOL...I'd die if anything like this really happened.

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  5. I can’t stress enough how brilliant this format is. Keep up the great work man!

    You know I LOVE so much of these! Jessie Ware (that win is EVERYTHING), Ed Sheeran, Bleachers, BANKS, FKA twigs, La Roux, Electric Youth, Jack White, The Black Keys, Neneh Cherry, Lily Allen, Sophie Ellis-Bextor, Say Lou Lou, Taylor Swift, Cher Lloyd, Lune, and Pharrell Williams.

    Thrilled that Nina Nesbitt and Lovestarrs got in EP. I figured they’d miss.

    M.I.A. has a few Mouthis sitting around? YAASSSS!!!

    I need to sort out the Urban Contemporary categories and fix my ballot already!

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    1. YAY! I'm glad it's working.

      So much love for all your love of what I love. LOL!

      I can't wait to unleash past years.

      UGH, apparently my UC categories are messy, too. I need to invest in listening to more albums, it looks like!

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  6. First of all, THANK YOU for all those priceless Celine gifs. LOVE. HER.

    Second of all, it makes me so happy seeing Sophie Ellis-Bextor here. I didn't love Wanderlust, but that's probably because I was such a huge fan of her earlier dance-pop stuff, and this was so... not that.

    Third of all, Jessie Ware is a GODDESS and all the singles she released from Tough Love are GOLD. And better than any song by Ed Sheeran (and he does have some good ones).

    Fourth of all, LOVE the Taylor Swift joke. 1989 is a damn good album, and Style is unquestionably the best pop song of the past few years. Its loss to that particular Ed Sheeran song is a miscarriage of justice.

    Fifth of all, Sam Hunt. Hey, boo.

    Sixth of all, 2014 was kind of a big year personally for me, so a lot of my favorite music I wouldn't expect other people to feel as strongly about because it's all so tied to my personal experience. That said, the year was really all about Kylie Minogue's album Kiss Me Once, which is uneven but with really high highs (the swoon-worthy title track and spectacular lead single Into the Blue), Bright Light Bright Light's album Life Is Easy, and Betty Who's album Take Me When You Go, in addition to Jessie and Taylor. If you haven't heard of the latter two, I would be disappointed but not surprised. Definitely check out BLBL's I Believe, the best falling in love song in ages and my #1 single of the year, and Betty's High Society. Both are miles ahead of most of the stuff being played on radio.

    Seventh of all, no love for Uptown Funk?!? Or the Toni Braxton & Babyface album (which sounds just like the 90s never ended)?!?

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    1. First of all, Celine Dion is a bounty of amazing...there were even more gifs but I couldn't fit them all in the show.

      Second of all, LOVED Wanderlust. It's funny because it was the first Sophie Ellis-Bextor album I heard and so when I checked out her earlier stuff I was taken by surprise at her sound. I love the direction she took Wanderlust, but that whole folk-pop-rock thing is so up my alley.

      Third of all, Say You Love Me was my runner up and...I almost actually gave it the win.

      Fourth of all, that Taylor joke was my favorite of the show (hehe) and I hated leaving Style of SOTY...and while you apparently hate Photograph, I'll just say that I respond to it very much the way you shaped up your 'Sixth of all' comment. It just reaches a very personal spot for me, as a parent, and I can't listen to it without bawling my eyes out. Seeing him perform it live (and extend the song for, like, ten minutes) cemented it as one of the best pop songs of all time. It has such deep meaning and such heartfelt honesty and it captures everything I feel watching my children grow up.

      Fifth of all, lol

      Sixth of all, I, sadly, have never heard of BLBL or BHS, but I'll be sure to check them out ASAP.

      Seventh of all, I loathe Uptown Funk...but check your eyes, gurl, that Babyface/Braxton album is up for Collaborative Vocal, Urban Contemporary Album AND Urban Contemporary Song. Great album, indeed!

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    2. OK you're right, clearly I wasn't looking too clearly... BUT, WHERE is the Toni/Baby album in the GENERAL categories?

      LOL on your reaction to Sophie's earlier stuff. She has recorded some of the best pop songs of the '00s. Hearing Wanderlust after the VERY dance-heavy Make A Scene was a shock. It's probably much better than my initial reaction to it, but I need time to adjust.

      Totally get what you mean about Photograph. I don't HATE it, just think it's fine and nothing too special. The song that's like that for me from 2014 is Dami Im's Living Dangerously - I know it's probably only better-than-average run-of-the-mill dance-pop, but it became something of an anthem for me because of my personal situation. Still makes me feel all the feels.

      I can't WAIT to hear how you like Bright Light Bright Light (he's THE best male pop star of today, for me) and Betty Who!!

      CELINE DION FOREVER

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    3. I like Sophie's pop stuff, don't get me wrong...but I wasn't expecting it (and I prefer her newer sound).

      Now I want to listen to Dami Im...and I will certainly let you know once I check out the BLBL and Betty Who albums.

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    4. Dami Im is the winner of X Factor Australia but SO much better than that makes her sound. Watch any clips of her on the show on YouTube - she's quirky and kind of a weirdo but she has this huge, perfect pop voice that the album really shows off.

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    5. I pass no judgement on reality show contestant winners. Some of them are stellar.

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  7. Oh my...I thought Celine would still be making a huge spectacle of Rene's funeral....What? Too soon? I am just amazed how you compiled all this

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    1. Well, in Celine's defense, these 'technically' happened in 2014...so he was still alive...which is why I didn't make her mention it ;-)

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