You remember when you were a teenager and all your friends were partying and having so much fun drinking and doing drugs and you were like, “WHY NOT ME”, and so you joined in that one night when they were all wasted and experimenting with that new drug that was supposed to get you “SO HIGH” and then you accidentally snorted way to much of it and passed out and everyone thought you were dead but you weren’t, and when you woke up you were a superhero?
Yeah, I don’t remember that time either.
I’ve never done drugs. It’s never appealed to me. I have friends who have, I also have a sister who was an addict and I have known some family friends who are no longer with us because of drugs. Yeah, I’m happy to say I’ve never done them. Had I, for one second, thought that they would give me the ability to do anything that Scarlett Johansson does in this movie, I would have overdosed when I was eight. Simple as that. I would have gone all Scarface on a table of coke and, well, it wouldn’t have ended pretty. It doesn’t end pretty here either, but like, this is a movie and so, whatever.
I guess that’s kind of the problem too, because this movie is kind of ‘whatever’ thanks to the fact that everything is so preposterous it makes you want to punch things.
This was honestly almost as dumb as ‘Transcendence’, but this was far more fun to watch, so it gets extra points for that.
The film tells the story of Lucy, a girl who within a few minutes of the movie is handcuffed to a briefcase and brought before some crazy Asian guy who kills the guy she slept with the night before and forces her to become a drug mule for some new drug made from pregnancy hormones. She transports the drugs, but the guys designated to ‘extract’ the drug get fresh and then beat her up, causing the pouch in her stomach to burst and Lucy to overdose, but instead of dying she becomes a superhero. Yup, the drug allows her to use more than the average percentage of brain, which, for some reason, instead of merely making her smart makes her a superhero.
NONE of this makes any sense, including that ridiculous finale when she goes back in time or whatever and turns everything white and, like, becomes a machine and then air or whatever, but OMG this movie is a trip and just fun.
Stupid, stupid fun.
C-, for the sheer enjoyment of watching Scarlett Johansson kick everyone's ass in such a splendidly choreographed way.