Monday, February 9, 2015

A Fistful of Thoughts...about blonde bombshells, blowjobs, "winning" and consequences!

So, I'm thinking about trying to make this a Monday thing, but we'll see how long that lasts for.  I almost skipped today based on the fact that it literally took me two hours to piece together my BAFTA post, and I was tired (and had so many other things to do, which I'm putting off again for this), but whatever...let's just ignore the screaming children, lunch, work and whatever else is supposed to be happening right now.

Let's talk about blowjobs!

First, let's just address the fact that this hacking scandal is apparently shaking things up, internally, as MPAA considers a complete restructure.  The reaction to the hacking (delayed reaction) has the MPAA chairman, Michael Lynton, pretty pissed, and he even broached having Sony completely removed from the organization, which has subsequently been decided against, but still, things are going to undergo change.  Not sure what this will mean in the long run, but I'm sure we'll hear about changes that are going to either excite or piss off a lot of moviegoers.

Can we talk about blowjobs yet?

Well, before that, let's talk about Scarlett Johansson (the next best thing).  We've talked about her directorial debut here already, and even reviewed the source material because we're so excited about it, but news that the film is actually happening and is being shopped around to production companies overseas is pretty exciting.  This could be a really awesome project for her.  All these actors turned directors can seem a little, well, ill advised, but sometimes it really works out for the best.  I'm hoping for the best, obviously.

NOW we can talk about blowjobs, or at least let Gwyneth Paltrow do it for us.  She made a stir last week (or was it the week before) when for advocating steaming your vagina, but it was her candid talk with Howard Stern about giving head is what is really making heads turn.  I'm all for blowjobs, seriously, so don't get me wrong here, but doling out advice about how a blowjob should be used to end a fight and stroke an ego and even that a woman should "be a girl" and "show him that he's a man" just seems so...gross, actually.  How is this a good form of self-image or even a good projection of self-worth?  And, to be honest, I don't want a pity blowjob, like ever, and giving me one is not going to stop me from being mad at you.


Moving on; let's discuss that epic DGA win, or at least mention it.  Yes, it looks like Boyhood is getting The Social Network treatment, which is fine by me (I was not fine with the initial Social Network treatment, but that's a different story).  Inarritu's DGA win was an awesome surprise, especially since it came the night after I saw the film for the first time, so his amazing work there was fresh in my mind.

Bring on the Oscar!

And this brings me to something personal I wanted to discuss, or clear up, or something like that.  So, after the DGA win I tweeted my approval and I did, because why not, get all excited about what it was beating out.  To me, part of the fun and excitement of awards season is watching how the race plays out, and when you have a passionate reaction to a film (whether good or bad) it only makes it all the more exciting.  I passionately love Birdman, and I passionately dislike Boyhood, or at least the HEAPS or praise and accolades it was receiving.

So, I tweeted about that:

I may have went a little overboard, but I want to assure every Boyhood supporter that this was all in good fun and meant, wholly, in the purest of sarcasm.  I was called out, but a fellow blogger and friend (who I won't drag in to this, but you know who you are), for basically stating that all Boyhood supporters have bad taste.  

Here are my responses:

I mean every word.  Taste level is a completely subjective thing.  We all have our own, and so I would never judge someone, as a person, based on it.  I've been told many times that I have awful taste in movies, by people who I respect and admire and who I think have INCREDIBLE taste in film.  We all see things differently.  Hell, I'm the guy who just a few months ago said that Wild Things was the best film of 1998.  My best friend recommended that I watch Transcendence because it was an incredible film; seriously.  I gave it an F.  One of my only 'none-blogger' friends who I actually discuss movies with constantly berates me for hating Forrest Gump, and I turn around and berate him for saying it's the best movie of all time.  I love him, but to me that's just poor taste.

But that's one movie, and we agree on many others.

So, please, I assure you that just because I find Boyhood to be the most overrated film of the year, doled it a D Grade in my review, and will jump for joy when it loses the Oscar to a MUCH better film in Birdman, I do not think that anyone who likes or even loves the film has 'collectively' awful taste in film...I just think that awarding that film is in 'bad taste'...personally.



Here's what I'll be reading today:

John discusses asks Is Erotica Ethical?
Steven reviews one of my favorite movies of all time, The Earrings of Madame de...
Sati gives us some visual parallels between The Guest and Stoker
Shala shares her pics from Sundance (so jealous)
Louis covers one of the lesser talked about performances of 2014, the late Gary Poulter in Joe
Mario reviews Saving Mr. Banks
Mariah breaks down the excellence of Jaws
Hunter reviews The French Connection (I love her for this)
Wendell has closed up his In with the New blogathon, and is sharing links!


  1. Gwyneth Paltrow does what to her vagina?!? And the Howard Stern interview sounds seriously icky. The idea of placating a guy with a fragile ego is just not hot.

    Humor and tongue-in-cheek comments meant in good fun can be tricky on the internet. I think it's because people can't "read" your facial expression and body language -- words can be easily misconstrued.

    Great post!

    1. Yeah, I'm a Paltrow fan, but that interview was putting.

      And I'm totally with you on Internet and tone, because they don't always go hand in hand.


  2. I completely agree about taste in movies. I have a good friend who is a movie lover too and we're usually pretty good judges of what the other will appreciate. For instance she hates westerns but I suggested How the West Was Won to her when they released that cleaned up print because it was more a saga set in the west as opposed to the traditional cowboys and Indians which is the sort she despises. I was right she did like it but then we watched Gods & Monsters, which I love and she loathed it. Likewise she got me to watch The Sweetest Thing which is a huge favorite of hers and I found it repulsive. But we both love Auntie Mame and All the President's Men so it comes down to a divergence of taste in certain areas.

    I'm with you on Forrest Gump though, but again I"ve had people just rhapsodize about it to me and I just glaze over.

  3. Gwyneth Paltrow just needs to stop talking. She says some of the dumbest shit ever.

    I'm annoyed all over again that you got hate for speaking against Boyhood. I did too on the night of the SAGs. I respect the fact that we all have different tastes, that's something I love about the film blogging community, but why are people getting so defensive over fucking Boyhood?

    I think Boyhood sucks. I'm going to make fun of it on Twitter, but damn why are some getting so touchy over it? I disagree with people on films all the time, but I don't try to rain on their Twitter parade when they crack a joke about it.

    1. I think that awards season brings out the defensiveness in a lot of people, and also the most aggressive, because we are all championing our faves. BUT, at the end of the day, we should try and remember that we are all friends and 'in this together' and so...I get kind of sad when joking is taken so seriously.

  4. Gwyneth is a bitch. I sort of respect her as an actress but she's a fucking bitch. I would often wish this would happen:

    I didn't really care for the short Scarlett did that didn't make it to the final cut of New York, I Love You (the film itself wasn't very good) but I am eager to see what she will do as a director. Maybe she will become a future Auteurs subject in the years to come as I hope to give her some Oscars and other prestigious prize with my own work.

    Thanks for the link-love and I hope to have The Earrings of Madame de.... in my DVD collection.

    1. LOL, much talent, so little sense, apparently.

      I did see the short she directed, but I read Capote's novella, and I'm really intrigued what she'll do with it.

  5. I seriously stopped reading after "steaming your vagina," trying to figure out what the hell that is. I still don't know. Then it got worse for all the reasons you said. I mean, how does that work. Does she just drop to her knees right in the middle of an argument? Sigh.

    I think Irene's got it right. People have a hard time with tone online. That, and everyone is uber-defensive of what "they" like. Too many people can't stand any opinion that doesn't match their own.

    Thanks for the link! I'm really happy with the entries I hope people give them all a read.

    1. Apparently there is also an anal steam for men...

      And we should all be able to embrace other's opinions or at least accept them, right?

  6. Gwyneth needs her actual head steamed and maybe some brain cells will activate 'cos the vegan diet isn't helping this douche. The last thing I would be doing to my hubby is that after we have a fight-WTF??? Someone must tell her to shut up and try to make a half decent film...if that's possible. I am all for difference of opinion with film because it is subjective. When people, who have some knowledge of film, get together to discuss which films they like, hate etc... it is interesting to listen or read about. When the average Joe/Jane knucklehead who think Transformers is the next Shakespeare, grunt and howl at blow'em up hoo ha flicks where the hero utters a few mono syllabic grunts and wants to give that actor an Oscar, that's when I look at them and say they are a moron. OK, OK I am not winning any nicey awards for saying this but we all know who these people are. This is why Transformers 26 or whatever # it's at can stay at the cinema for over a month while Birdman may, and I mean May, be at a theatre for a week. Ok that is enough of my tirade except I agree with you about Forest Gump-ok movie but not great and I will be dancing and clapping big time if Boyhood lands on its ass:)

    1. No nicey awards needed, I love rants!


  7. Oh and I know you don't veer away from film land but I nominated you for the Very Inspiring Blog Award because I love reading your blog! Even though I create cards and write about other things(like the stripper wedding I attended) I love film and am glad to have found your blog. You don't have to participate but I wanted you to know that I nominated you:)

    1. Thank you so much!

      I want to apologize to you, because I attempted to add your blog to my blog roll months ago, so that I would follow you as well, but it didn't work for some reason and I forgot since then to try it again.

      I will do that today.

    2. I wonder why it didn't work? I can't believe Oscar night is in 2 wks

    3. Sometimes Blogger is weird when I add blogs to my Blog'll say it can't connect or can't find the address, but it worked this morning :-D

  8. Oh my God the mental image of Paltrow giving anyone a blow job is just disgusting. She looks like an insect and has horrible personality. No one cares about your vagina or pizza wood oven you stuck up bitch.

    Ah, twitter outrage. And then twitter outrage about someone else's twitter outrage. Seriously, this is Oscar season. People get vocal about stuff that annoys them and the stuff they love. I have been saying Redmayne sucks cocks for weeks now and really, it's a perfectly accurate exaggeration to use now.

    1. Yeah, that mental image is a tad...scary.

      That Redmayne analogy feels figuratively accurate, so...carry on!

  9. Great post Fisti! Thanks for the link! You know I keep hearing that Boyhood isn't really that good. I know that they filmed the movie over like 10 years, but so what. If it's not a good movie, why is it receiving all of these accolades?

    I can't wait to see Birdman! And I can't wait for your Oscar coverage.

    1. Yeah, that was basically the drift of my Boyhood, who cares if it took you 12 years to film it...your movie is dull and pointless so you just wasted 12 years of your life.

      Birdman is a dream.

      Oscar is going to be ridiculous...I have no idea what I'm going to do, coverage-wise.

  10. Will the MPAA ever sort themselves out? I doubt it, but they can keep trying.

    I forgot about ScarJo's directorial project. Very intrigued by it.

    Paltrow can be great on screen, but I wish she'd avoid discussions like this. Seriously, why is she talking about this? It's not sound advice in the slightest.

    I think some people just can't take (or don't interpret) sarcasm the same way. I understood the tone of those tweets, but not everyone can digest them the same way or in the same context. Go Birdman!

    Love the new banner by the way!

    1. I really want to see what ScarJo does with her debut, because it's a great premise and ripe with potential.

      LOL,, what the actual fuck was that?

      And I'm so glad you love the banner and can't wait for you to see Mommy so you can love it even more!!!