You ever watch a movie that makes you question other decisions or even other opinions you may personally have felt justified or validated over time? You ever stare into the soul of your television screen and ask yourself, “is all I thought it was really not what it is at all?”
Despite the above paragraph sounding like the ponderings of a profound, intelligent and poignant cinematic experience, they aren’t. They are the ponderings of a grown man confused that his twenty-something self actually defended a film that, judging from this awful sequel, probably sucked pretty hard. I haven’t seen ‘Sin City’ in years (like, not since 2005), but my recollection of it was that it was inspired, entertaining and fresh filmmaking, with an engaging story and a cast of memorable characters and nicely done performances. Like, wasn’t Rourke up for Oscar consideration for it? But, ‘Sin City: A Dame to Kill For’ is so incredibly AWFUL that I’m second guessing any positive thoughts I ever had for the original.
Help me; was the first one good or have I just grown up?
|Why must I ruin everything?|
I don’t even know what all to say here. There is so much wrong here. The storylines are not cohesive enough to feel like a rewarding tapestry film, for everything feels so sharply divided, despite having minimal crossover elements. But, beyond that, the stories themselves aren’t remotely interesting, or at least they aren’t developed in an interesting manner. In an attempt to basically create a graphic (pun intended) film noir, Frank Miller and Robert Rodriguez forgot to infuse any real passion or emotion into any aspect of the film. Every character either comes off as a complete non-entity (like, wood has more depth) or a caricature, and not a good one (I love you Eva Green, but this mess of a performance is an embarrassment of non-riches). The dialog is laughable, the effects feel more gimmicky than inspired this go around, and the decision to place the entire finale in Jessica Alba’s shaky hands was a HUGE mistake.
What was she doing?
So, if you want to watch Joseph Gordon-Levitt get his fingers broken (and I’m sure some of you do) or you want to watch Josh Brolin get betrayed by a woman (which I’m sure some of you do) or you want to see Jessica Alba pretend to strip (no one wants to see that awful tease), wait for a better movie, because this atrocity of filmmaking isn’t worth your time; at all.
An F. I'd readily say this is the worst movie of the year, but Eva Green is naked in pretty much all of her scenes, so maybe it's not. Hell, maybe I should give this an A+, but then again, she's no stranger to baring all, and she's done so in much better films (go watch The Dreamers).