Wednesday, February 4, 2015

A film to kill…a film director or two, an entire cast and all the crew over!


You ever watch a movie that makes you question other decisions or even other opinions you may personally have felt justified or validated over time?  You ever stare into the soul of your television screen and ask yourself, “is all I thought it was really not what it is at all?” 

Despite the above paragraph sounding like the ponderings of a profound, intelligent and poignant cinematic experience, they aren’t.  They are the ponderings of a grown man confused that his twenty-something self actually defended a film that, judging from this awful sequel, probably sucked pretty hard.  I haven’t seen ‘Sin City’ in years (like, not since 2005), but my recollection of it was that it was inspired, entertaining and fresh filmmaking, with an engaging story and a cast of memorable characters and nicely done performances.  Like, wasn’t Rourke up for Oscar consideration for it?  But, ‘Sin City: A Dame to Kill For’ is so incredibly AWFUL that I’m second guessing any positive thoughts I ever had for the original.

Help me; was the first one good or have I just grown up?



Why must I ruin everything?
I don’t even know what all to say here.  There is so much wrong here.  The storylines are not cohesive enough to feel like a rewarding tapestry film, for everything feels so sharply divided, despite having minimal crossover elements.  But, beyond that, the stories themselves aren’t remotely interesting, or at least they aren’t developed in an interesting manner.  In an attempt to basically create a graphic (pun intended) film noir, Frank Miller and Robert Rodriguez forgot to infuse any real passion or emotion into any aspect of the film.  Every character either comes off as a complete non-entity (like, wood has more depth) or a caricature, and not a good one (I love you Eva Green, but this mess of a performance is an embarrassment of non-riches).  The dialog is laughable, the effects feel more gimmicky than inspired this go around, and the decision to place the entire finale in Jessica Alba’s shaky hands was a HUGE mistake.

What was she doing?


So, if you want to watch Joseph Gordon-Levitt get his fingers broken (and I’m sure some of you do) or you want to watch Josh Brolin get betrayed by a woman (which I’m sure some of you do) or you want to see Jessica Alba pretend to strip (no one wants to see that awful tease), wait for a better movie, because this atrocity of filmmaking isn’t worth your time; at all.

An F.  I'd readily say this is the worst movie of the year, but Eva Green is naked in pretty much all of her scenes, so maybe it's not.  Hell, maybe I should give this an A+, but then again, she's no stranger to baring all, and she's done so in much better films (go watch The Dreamers).

20 comments:

  1. Yup. The whole damn thing was a mess. And why for the love of all that is holy do you give Jessica Alba a part where she is expecting to...um...act?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ...and STRIP!?!?! Like, you are a stripper. What stripper does her WHOLE dance...and then walks off stage with all her clothes on?

      Delete
    2. They obviously should have cast Eva Green!

      Delete
  2. I tried watching the first film and couldn't understand all the hoopla but I know i wasn't in the right frame of mind to see it plus maybe that I am now 50 has something to do with it but I hope not. This film does sound like a mess and Jessica Alba should just dance and not talk

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL, the less heard about Alba, the better.

      Delete
  3. You're so right, man. Sin City is a movie that I was just in awe of when I saw it when it first came out. I was like 21. Got the DVD set, which is actually awesome because Rodriguez always has such lively special features and such. But it is a movie that I almost never have a desire to watch anymore. The new one just looked like crap, so I didn't even bother. But Eva Green naked....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, Eva Green naked, a lot, and acting like an idiot.

      Delete
  4. What's the point of playing a stripper if you're not going to show the goods? Fuck that shit! Besides, I do have a DVD copy of The Dreamers and I could download naked clips of Eva Green... oh wait... I already have those. It's fucking pointless. Robert Rodriguez seriously needs to figure out what he wants to and think about what worked and what didn't work.

    ReplyDelete
  5. This sounds terrible and I'm staying away from it. It doesn't seem to have any real defenders which is a glaring warning sign. NO THANKS!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, this appears to be universally loathed at this point. Stay far away!

      Delete
  6. Ah, I actually thought it was not that bad. Eva makes my line up, I honestly thought she was good. Brolin was such a miscast, come to think of it it's amazing I forgot about him while doing my best and worst list.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Brolin was so...dull. I was actually shocked that he couldn't pull this off.

      Delete
    2. He was lacking charisma so bad, but come to think of it he doesn't strike me as charismatic in the first place...

      Delete
    3. No, he's not, but he's usually at least interesting in his brooding nature. He appeared dead.

      Delete
  7. As a poker player (albeit a different type poker) I hated the poker scenes, getting those hands is astronomically unlikely unless he cheated which would piss me off. I didn't hate the film as much as you did butI felt it lacked the freshness and originality of the first film. Sin City also had that girl with the blue eyes, they radiated stunningly in the B&W cinematography.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think that may be the primary issue here...that the second time around it just doesn't feel fresh.

      Delete
  8. LOL. I didn't hate it, but it's a HUGE step down from the first, which I've seen several times and still love. (Like, I give Rodriguez a CinSpec for the first film.) I'm in the C+ range. It had a few thrills, but it mostly felt stale and uninspired.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I nominated the first one a few places, for sure, but this was just so...words escape me.

      Delete