Wednesday, May 7, 2014

A Fistful of Thoughts...about lesser siblings, leading ladies and overdone cliches!

I was planning on holding off with this until tomorrow, but Two Dollar Cinema just reviewed something that sparked me to want to talk about this now.  Well, obviously not all of it but we might as well unload the whole thing now while we're at it.

This edition of A Fistful of Thoughts has to do with some casting news (or speculation), a lesser Fiennes, a dumb actress, some cool posters and a movie cliche that gets me really, really pissed off.

So let's get into it!

I love that Ralph Fiennes is getting some of the best reviews of his career, and his brother is seen carrying around Nicole Kidman on the set of their new movie, Strangerland.  Hell, at least he's working, even if it is Guy Pearce's sloppy seconds.  I will say, the premise actually sounds kind of intriguing (desperate parents in search for their children when they go missing during a sandstorm, or something like that) but there is also something really desperate about this whole project, including the cast.

What ever happened to Joseph Fiennes?  Wasn't he set to be this HUGE actor after he starred in Elizabeth and Shakespeare in Love back to back (well, in the same year) and then he was just completely obliterated by his more famous, more talented, hugely successful brother.  Like, I often forget that there is another Fiennes, to be completely honest.  Was it just that the world was not ready for two of them?  What do you think of the brothers?  I couldn't honestly go the rest of my life without see Joseph Fiennes in another movie, but after what Ralph did in did The Grand Budapest Hotel, I kind of want him to star in everything.

Moving onto an actress we love here, Cate Blanchett (who is also having the best surge in her career) just keeps on slaying.  According to reports, she's being targeted by Ridley Scott for his film, The Day Britain Stopped.  The film is going to be based on a fictitious disaster revolving around some shipping explosion and transport being halted in Britain.  Apparently, there is a mockumentary from 2003 on the same subject.  

I may have to watch this eventually, especially if Blanchett accept the role and this thing gets going.  I kind of love British humor (but is this mockumentary funny?) and so I'm now wondering if this will be sold as a straight up drama, or will it have some humorous elements.  I really am ready for Ridley Scott to make a serious comeback, or at least I think I am.  He's been such a disappointment lately, to the point where I'm wondering if he's just completely lost it altogether.  Will he even direct this, or just produce it?  I kind of love the idea of Blanchett working with Scott, but only if this is going to be good.

But that goes without saying.

Moving on, I want to take a minute to bitch.  Ok, so there is this new movie coming out called Mom's Night Out.  This isn't anything new, conceptually, but seeing the trailer for this the other night right before the new wall scrubbing sponge commercial (like I know the brand name) made me seeth just a little.  It's the one where the father is video conferencing his wife and he's talking about how the kids are clean and fed and everything is fine and then the camera pans out and you can see that the house is an utter disaster because apparently the wife does everything and the father is a complete fucking idiot incapable of making spaghetti without trashing the whole house.  I'm so sick and tired of this movie (and television and advertising) cliche.  Fathers are not idiots.  According to film and the like, men are incapable of taking care of children.  They don't even know what babies are.  They can't change diapers, they can't feed kids, they can't play with them, they never speak to them, they are scared of them, taken advantage of by them and are completely reliant on their wives, who can handle everything and everyone without a hitch, in order to get anything done.


I've been a father for almost seven years, and since my eldest daughter was born I have been as hands on as they come.  I make dinner almost every night, I bath them, put them to bed, take them out...ON MY OWN.  I've taken care of them alone for entire weekends while my wife has been away.  This cliche has got to end.  This new movie portrays the husbands as clueless fucks who endanger the lives of their children on a singular night because they are selfish, childish pigs and their wives have to cancel their plans in order to save the day, all while in heels (because they are superwomen who can do anything, regardless of stress).  

This is in no way to disrespect the mothers, who do handle a lot, but it takes two baby!  Us fathers are actually pretty fucking awesome.


So, Shailene Woodley is an idiot.  I don't care that she doesn't know what feminism means.  I mean, I didn't really until she misquoted it and the world kind of went apeshit on her.  But, I'm so tired of her trying to be Jennifer Lawrence by saying weird things to get attention.  At least Jennifer Lawrence is funny and kind of came across as genuine for a spell (I still like her, or at least want to), but this chick is like the Walmart brand Jennifer Lawrence who keeps talking about uninteresting things about herself as a way to get us to think she's down to earth.

Oh, you don't use deodorant?  That just makes you gross.

Now she is saying that she eats clay.  I mean, remind us why we care.  I'm just so tired of shit like this.  You eat clay?  Really?  That just makes you gross.

And lastly, have you seen these?  OMG these are kind of the coolest things ever.  Since you're still reading this and have not clicked the link yet, I'll tell you what they are.  ANIMATED POSTER!  Please tell me this is the way of the future.  LOL, like I want to see these outside my movie theater tomorrow.  I mean, these are just so smart and clever and they add that extra something that makes them stand out in such an inspired and fun way.  

These are my favorites:

But who am I kidding, I kind of love them all!


  1. Fisti-- there are so many things I agree with you on! What the heck is Shailene smoking...or eating? She needs to stop thinking--out loud.

    I'm really digging the animated posters.

    I've always thought of Ralph Fiennes as the more popular brother, ever since his appearance in Schindler's List.

    Oh and my husband would agree w/ you on the father part. I'm kinda of tired of this "hapless father" stereotype in Hollywood. It's so prolific. IMO Hollywood tries to present this image of all of these alpha females running households with dumb husbands. That's just not true.

    My husband is very hands on, changes diapers, feeds her, plays with her. Admittedly, I do most of the house cleaning, but when it comes to our daughter, we are completely equal. One of us drops her off, the other picks her up from daycare. One of us does bedtime/bathtime one day, then the other person does it the next day.

    Perhaps things were different 30 - 40 years ago, but this stereotype still persists.

  2. Yeah, it really is a shame that Hollywood won't let that stereotype go.

    LOL, glad to see we are in unison on so many points! Woodley is

  3. I really like Woodley as an actor but yes, she does seem a bit unhinged and confused. Ah well, as long as she doesn't fuck up The Fault in Our Stars, I'm good.
    I LOVE those animated posters. Fight Club and Pulp Fiction are my favs.

  4. Yeah, Fight Club one was really cool, conceptually.

    I am indifferent to Woodley as an actress. I found her completely distracting in that Descendants movie, but I hated EVERYTHING about that movie. She was very good in The Spectacular Now, but I also find something incredibly bland about her on screen presence, so she's forgettable to me.

    I am looking forward to The Fault in Our Stars though...

  5. You are right about Joseph Fiennes, funny how certain actors just vanish from the mainstream and end up in b-movies. I guess he wasn't as bankable as Ralph.

    Love that Inception animated poster, it never stops spinning...

  6. Shailene Woodley is a good actress, but I think she should just keep her mouth shut. Her face has been splattered all over the internet ever since Divergent and some of the stuff she says doesn't make sense in a 'why-say-it-out-loud-in-public' kind of way. She really might be taking the Jennifer Lawrence route, but at least she should try to sound knowledgeable to some extent.

    The posters are awesome! I liked the take on Atonement and Skyfall.

  7. Those are great posters. I heard about that movie Mom's Night Out, I have no interest in seeing them. BTW, it's not BULL-FUCKING SHIT... it's FACKING BULLSHIT!!! The Iron Sheik perfected that and he fucks Hulk Hogan and Hulkamania right up its ass. He'll make you humble! IRAN, IRAN, IRAN!!!! IRAN #1!!!!!

  8. @Chris
    Yeah, that Inception poster is pretty awesome.

    She's just NOT Jennifer Lawrence, but she's trying so hard to be. I find her bland all the way around, but she's fun to laugh at I guess.

    Either way, it's bullshit ;-)

  9. Oooh I love motion posters, those are awesome, wish they'd do more of those but they'd have to be subtle to be good though.

    I really don't pay attention to what celebs says so nothing to add about Woodley, I still think she's a decent actress.

    I like Joseph Fiennes too, wish he & Ralph work together, I think both are massively talented but for some reason Joseph is so underrated.

    Hey, Ridley + Cate working together sounds fab! I actually did a movie pitch years ago w/ the two of them, well she's not the lead but still it's a pivotal part. Here's the link if you're curious: A girl can dream, right? :D

  10. I don't know many fathers but yeah, it does seem like an extremely hurtful stereotype. Father is a parent, just like the mother - he can be just as capable. Plus that cliche was used in comedies so many times it's not only harmful, it's also so boring to behold.

    Woodley is such an idiot. She should literally go back to the hole in the woods, crawl there and stay inside.

    J. Fiennes was in American Horror Story 2 - he was really good, but yeah, it's kinda a shame his career didn't go better.

  11. @Ruth
    Whoa! I'll need to read that! I read a bit of it, but I'll need more time to get into the whole thing. I love the casting though!

    All I can ever think of when Woodley or Lawrence opens their mouths is "I wonder what Sati will think" LOL

    1. Sati usually thinks just one thing when it comes to them -

    2. Hi Drew! I'd love to hear your thoughts on it whenever you get to it. That's my first pitch I did years ago that I still DREAM that someone important in the biz would read and go, yeah we should do a romantic thriller w/ Dalton and Dame Mirren :P Plus I have a thing about Butler & McAvoy playing brothers as they look so similar (in terms of facial features anyway, not in overall physique). I need to do another movie pitch tho I think all of them will have Toby Stephens in it, mwahaha!

    3. YAY! I can reply to your posts now!

      LOL Sati! I figured that would be your response.

      I will totally read it. I did browse it a bit yesterday. I'll crack into it later today.

  12. So many things I agree on here.

    1) I forget Joseph Fiennes exists all the time. It's got to suck being Ralph's younger brother.

    2) I wish Shailene would shut the fuck up as well. I've enjoyed some of her work, but honestly, if the material is not up to par, she flops. (see Secret Life of the American Teenager) This whole eating clay thing and giving her vagina vitamin D is just a little much.

    3) I HATE that stereotype about fathers. Hate it. I had a male colleague actually ask me if I left a detailed list for my husband when we had to go out of town for work not too long after our baby was born. No, I didn't. Because he's a parent too and knows how to raise our fucking child. We do everything equally. You'd think a man (and father himself) wouldn't ask a question like that. (Although admittedly, his wife probably keeps his dick in a mason jar under their sink)

  13. BAHAHA! I do know fathers who are not really good with their kids. My best friend has never taken his kids out on his own, and he has three of them, but overall, most fathers know how to take care of their children, and even if he won't go out alone with them (even for a mother, shuffling three kids under the age of five around anywhere is hard), he can handle them at home just fine. No one dies, no one runs away, no one gets handcuffed together and the mom is allowed to hang out and have fun and get away without pesky phone calls.

    Hollywood can suck it.

  14. Movie Dads. Well, bad-movie Dads are the worst. Can you imagine if they pulled that shit with a woman? Unable to change a diaper and that kind of shit? Hmm. Might piss some people off...

    Anyway...thanks for the mention. What's even better is this is all from The Change Up. I'm still seething from Jar Jar Binks boobs...but what can I say? I'm just a man. I'm essentially a bumbling asshole at all times.

    1. LOL, I need to see this Change Up shit just for the CGI boobs! Oh how technology has advanced our movie watching experience. Or not. I'd much rather see the real thing. I'm not a fan of all this fake shit.

      You knew that all the sex in Nymphomaniac was also sort of CGI. They digitally placed the actors heads on porn stars bodies.

    2. Yeah...I had heard that. But...that nudity doesn't count, as it terrified me.

  15. I can watch Ralph Fiennes in anything, but I'm baffled by the plummet his brother had after 1998. He's like the Josh Hartnett of period pieces.

    More Cate Blanchett movies are always a good thing.

    Yeah, men aren't aren't incapable of taking care of children. That cliche irks me as well.

    Ha, Shailene Woodley is one of those actors I'd rather known nothing about. I don't mind her on-screen presence, but I don't need to hear what she has to say outside of film.

    I want the Alien, Atonement and Drive posters NOW!

    1. LOL, Hartnett! What happened to him? I even liked him, so it's kind of a shame he fizzled.