Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Five for the Fifth: or my answers to Ruth's five questions this month...

Another month and another 5th has brought us to Ruth's monthly five finger punch of questions poised to get the blogosphere talking.  I try each month to dedicate a post to her questions (although I do fail often) and so when I saw that she posted her questions this morning I jumped on the chance to dedicate my morning to answering them!

These ones are extra fun too, so that helps!

From TV to the Civil War (not the musical group) to Superheros to authors and Will fucking Smith, these cover a wide range of subjects and are well worth diving into, so take a  gander and jump on over to Ruth's page to post your own answers!

Let's get into it!

Which TV Show's Kickstarter Project would you happily donate to?

I've dreamed my whole life for a Sopranos film, simply because it is the greatest television show in the history of television, but with the passing of James Gandolfini, it seems as if this will never happen.  The only way that this would work is if the ambiguous ending provided with that abrupt blackness really DID symbolize the passing of Tony Soprano, and if that is the case then they could always spin the film around Carmella's dealing with the grief, but I just have a feeling that this would be too depressing and symbolic and hard for all involved and for the audience as well.

Too soon?

So moving on from that idea, I was thinking that a great idea would be a Friends reunion.  I mean, who would want to see a film that brought us back together with our beloved friends and showed us what their lives are like now.  When we last left them we had babies and rekindled love and moving and it was just so complete and yet so open.  I want my friends ten years later.  I want to see what their lives are like NOW!

Are you intrigued by The Retrieval?

Very!  This looks exceptional, and the reviews are also really great.  The whole atmosphere has me hooked, and the idea of a deeply rooted character study surrounding this storyline has me bumping this to the top of my most anticipated of the year!

What do you think of Snyder's latest quotes regarding Batman vs. Superman, and are you still excited for this movie?

I'll be completely honest...I haven't been a superhero buff since I was a pre-teen.  Back then, they were my life, but since I haven't really cared all that much.  That being said, I do indulge in Superhero Movies, and I do, on occasion, laud them, but I am not one who feels that they NEED to stick solely to the source material (which I guess is proof that I'm not a comic book buff by any means).  So, when Snyder says things about not being attached to the mythology of the characters or about exploding their universes, I'm not wholly worried.  All I care about is that he produces a quality film.

THAT BEING SAID, you can't fuck with these characters entirely.  I mean, I remember reports about making Spider-Man gay or changing a certain character's sex or, in the case of The Fantastic Four, changing their race, and while I can't say that these concepts wouldn't work in the scope of a motion picture, there is a certain nostalgia that you are going to muck with in the process, and alienating fans is sure to happen.

So tred lightly Mr. Snyder.

Seriously though, everyone's chief concern should be that he doesn't start making an intelligent character piece and then destroy the entire third act  by blowing everything up over and over and over again.

Are you happy with the Razzie winners, and who do you think should have been nominated?

I have honestly grown to hate the entire fucking Smith clan, so giving them as many 'you suck' awards as possible is only a bonus.  I also try to avoid shitty films, but I do occasionally come across them, and right now I have a personal 'you suck' ballot (for Worst Picture) and it looks like this:

(click on the names for my scathing reviews)

Admission should be happy that it was so dull and lifeless I forgot about so much of it I couldn't remember all the shitty things I hated about it in the first place, which is why it escapes my bottom five.  For the five films I loathe, I have no words other suck!

Which author would you wish to interview, and what would be your question?

I've had a longstanding crush on Bret Easton Ellis's mind and body, so I would DIE to interview him only to ask if we can cut the interview short and engage in a night of pure, unadulterated drunken debauchery complete with drugs and lots and lots of sex.

And I'm only being partially (like 3%) sarcastic.

And there you have it Ruth!  Until next month...


  1. YEAH for Prisoners hate!

    Friends reunion would be magical, especially since the careers of most of them are usually very close to the crapper - I'm amazed no one made reunion film/show yet.

  2. Hello Andrew! Sorry for the late comment, but first of all I just want to say: LOVE your Cuaron header!!

    Oh I like the idea of a Sopranos movie but I doubt that’ll ever happen tho w/ Gandolfini’s passing, even if they acknowledge it in the film it’d probably not gonna be well-received.

    The Retrieval does look very good doesn’t it? I sure hope w/ the distributor they got it’ll get a decent release nationwide.

    I like what you said about respecting the characters/mythology that fans expect, so yeah ‘tread lightly’ is a great advise to give him if you ever got the chance. He’s already alienating fans with his devil-may-care attitude.

    I’ve grown to loathe the Smith family too with their blatant nepotism, it’s just so tacky!! Btw, I have only seen one from your list and I actually didn’t hate it. But then again I haven’t seen the original film [yes I know but for some reason I just don’t have the desire to see it]. I have zero interest in seeing Only God Forgives, and not sure I’ll see Prisoners either, looks so darn tedious from the trailer.

    Ahah, you crazy man! I've only seen American Psycho so not really familiar w/ Ellis' work, who knows he might be up for your invite there, ahahahaha

    Thanks for doing this Andrew!
    – ruth

    1. No worries...I was being a whiny bitch on you site.

      I have no doubt Ellis would be down ;-) I actually had the chance to meet him once, a few years back (like seven years ago) and had emailed ahead offering to take him out for drinks and I was LEAVING MY HOUSE when my wife got incredibly sick and started barfing (we found out about a week later that she was pregnant) so I had to stay home.

      Probably for the best :-P

  3. Though it's likely to disappoint, Batman vs. Superman is probably my most anticipated film of 2016. (I can't even think of another '16 film right now, though.)

    Haha, I've only seen two films (OGF and Prisoners) in your worst lineup, and I dig both of them. :/

    My worst would be:

    A Good Day to Die Hard
    Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa
    Movie 43 ("winner")

    1. I'm happy to say that I've seen none of the films in your bottom five, although I'm sure that one day I'll see A Good Day to Die Hard, just to complete the series :-P

  4. What makes you love Bret Easton Ellis so much? I have to admit I'm clueless about him!

    I was so glad to read how you hated Oz: The Great and Powerful. I left the theater so upset, it's the worst movie I've seen in a really long time. And I've read how so many people loved it! I too try to avoid stinkers but it's not always possible. Cheers.

    Also I read that Cuaron article - it's refreshing how he's ready to move on and forget about it and concentrate on whatever comes next.

    1. Ellis was the first author I became obsessed with, back in my early teens. He's a loudmouthed bitch, but hilariously tacky and I love him.

      UGH, all things Cuaron are just amazing.