Monday, January 13, 2014

Golden Globes 2014

I really wanted to live blog these last night, since I knew that 90% of everything I was thinking as I was thinking it would be lost in the fog of the morning, but I got shitfaced wasted last night and couldn't type to save my life.  I actually had a list of ten things I loved most about the Globes, but I don't remember most of them.  Tina and Amy should host everything (that Clooney joke was the best of the night), Jennifer Lawrence is the best thing to happen to life since air, the '12 Years a Slave' table needed to lighten the fuck up, Drew Barrymore will wear anything, Cuaron is adorable...

But really...

So, the first award of the night (for film at least) went to Supporting Actress.  Going in, I think we all knew that this was between Lawrence and Nyong'o, with the edge towards Lawrence since she's, well, Jennifer Lawrence...and low and behold she pulled off a win.  Honestly, the only performance from this lineup that I've seen is Hawkins, and I loved her, so I can't judge.  

Let's talk dresses!!!

Sally Hawkins usually looks a mess on the red carpet, but I have to admit that starring alongside Cate Blanchett (who was one of the best dressed of the night, but we'll get to that later) has helped her stretch a little.  It still has not all come together for her, and her hair usually looks an awful mess, but she pulled out at least an interesting look last night.  To say that Squibb looked like a grandmother is unfair, since, well, she's June Squibb, but that dress is horribly unflattering and that material just photographs terribly.  It pulled her down and made her look like she had loose skin sagging all over the place, and that is not something you want at any age, but especially at hers.

The remaining three were stunning, but Roberts is clearly in a distant third because both Lawrence and Nyong'o are probably in the top five of the whole night!  Lawrence looked positively S&M bridal here, and I love the hell out of it.  She's stunning, especially since that pixie cut, and she's just so endearingly awkward in person; I just love watching her interact with people.  But really, this was all Nyong'o.  That dress was a real WOW moment and possibly the best of the night (I feel all 'Fashion Police' here, but honestly; BEST DRESSED NOMINEE!!!) and a real statement for her to make.  She will be remembered for this; I'm just wondering if she should have saved this for the Oscars.  I mean, how do you do better?

Moving on...

So, apparently everyone (or almost everyone) nominated for Best Actress in a Comedy of Musical got the 'red dress' memo, and then they showed up and saw Lupita Nyong'o and realized that the memo came from her and she was purposefully setting them up to be compared to her...and lose.  Yes, I know that Streep is not in this picture, but she doesn't care anymore.  I mean, she knew she wasn't going to win (although she was probably the runner-up) and I never saw more of her than her glasses and her shoulders, so why bother trying to analyze her outfit.  Poor Julia is trying to get the same WOWs that Lawrence and Johansson got from this same dress, and she's not (she's beautiful, but no) and Delpy looks about as frumpy as her personality.  Gerwig looks awkward, but I guess this is a 'hipsters' version of a princess dress, so yay for her.  Adams looks 'almost there', and she was obviously inspired by her role in the film she WON the Globe for (get it girl!) but her hair was all wrong and she looked like she probably did when she showed up to hair and makeup for her movie.  She needed to have that done.

Overall, fashion-wise, this category was a mess.

But yes, she won as was expected.  I've actually seen three of these (Delpy, Gerwig and Louis-Dreyfus) and I would have voted Gerwig, who was probably #5 to be honest.  She was a delight though.  Delpy and Louis-Dreyfus were also wonderful, but Gerwig topples them.

Dench never comes to these things, and Winslet was nursing a bear (lucky bear) so the only three nominees present were the three that had the best shot at actually winning (has the Dench train been derailed already?) and they all looked good, but only one looks like a real fucking star!  Blanchett is beautiful here.  I honestly wanted to post three pictures of her dress so you could see every angle.  When she turns around and the backless gown cuts nearly to her butt-crack I lost my jaw.  She is absolutely stunning, and this is easily the best dress of the night (Nyong'o, you can get an honorable mention).  Bullock continues to try and look younger and younger, and she really is stunning, but this is very 'junior' and would have looked better on someone like Emma Stone.  Emma Thompson is very flattering in this dress, and she's a laugh riot (her shoes are covered in blood!) and she kind of stole the entire show when she presented Screenwriting so YAY.

Oh, and Blanchett won; obviously.

Before we get into the rest of the actual awards wins, let's just get one thing out of the way.  Pregnancy can be a beautiful thing.  I've experienced a pregnant woman in the house three times now and every time my wife and never been more stunning to me.  But, as Kim Kardashian proved to us, you really need to know how to dress your body when you are pregnant (she didn't) or you're going to look like a tent, and no pregnant woman wants to look like a tent.

You can call me mean or rude or whatever, but there were three pregnant ladies blazing up the red carpet (and the stage) last night, and one of these is just not like the other.

I mean, I absolutely love Drew Barrymore, but it's become apparent over the past few years that she can't dress to save her live, and here she looks like a bush covered in butterflies or something like that.  No one wants to looks like a shrub.  The dress is just ugly, but for a pregnant woman it doesn't show off the curves as much as make you look utterly shapeless.  Washington looks beautiful though, and Olivia Wilde looks like a sexy mermaid who just happens to be carrying my child (yes, mine) and so she gets major bonus points.  That dress is just painted on her, and she truly is stunning to look at.

And lastly, let's look at two opposite ends of the spectrum.  White was in last night, and some pulled it off (we already talked about Washington and Lawrence) but others fell on their faces.  

Margot Robbie was stunning last night, and that pop of color in the shoe was perfection.  This is how you break out as a real star.  Paula Patton, on the other hand, looks ridiculous.  Easily the worst dressed of the night, Patton better start thinking clearer.  If she doesn't want her husband to continue sticking his hands up other girl's skirts then she better stop dressing like a calla lily.  This is just straight up ugly.

So, to recap my top five dressed ladies of the evening are:

1) Cate Blanchett
2) Lupita Nyong'o
3) Olivia Wilde
4) Jennifer Lawrence
5) Margot Robbie

The worst of the night would look like this:

1) Paula Patton
2) June Squibb
3) Drew Barrymore
4) Julie Delpy
5) Sandra Bullock

And yes, there were men there last night...but who really remembers much about what they are wearing?

So let's talk awards now!

Best Picture (Drama)
12 Years a Slave

Best Picture (Comedy/Musical)
American Hustle

Alfonso Cuaron

Lead Actor (Drama)
Matthew McConaughey

Lead Actor (Comedy/Musical)
Leonardo DiCaprio

Lead Actress (Drama)
Cate Blanchett

Lead Actress (Comedy/Musical)
Amy Adams

Supporting Actor
Jared Leto

Supporting Actress
Jennifer Lawrence


All is Lost

Ordinary Love

Animated Film

Foreign Film
The Great Beauty

REACTION:  I expected a lot of these.  In fact, I correctly predicted both Picture categories, Director, Animated Film and all acting save for McConaughey.  I had him as my alternate, and I'm wondering if this could be the start of his road to the actual Oscar...but will they really reward Dallas Buyers Club with TWO acting wins?  I mean, Leto isn't losing at this point, so Ejiofor could have the edge on the Oscar.  But, McConaughey could take the SAG, and if he does...the Oscar is probably his.  Did anyone predict All is Lost taking score?  I didn't see that coming, and I really thought that Blue is the Warmest Color would win everything except the Oscar, but I'm wondering if The Great Beauty is peaking at the right time and will take the Oscar this year.

Oh, and finally...if Cuaron gets David Fincher'd at the Oscars, I'm going to lose my shit!

So that's it for now.  Awards Season has officially kicked off, and last night was awesome.  BFCA is Thursday, so let's recuperate from all the booze we ingested last night and do it all again later this week!


  1. Get on Twitter and join the live tweeting fun. It's my favorite part of awards season, actually. Lupita Nyong'o looked SO beautiful in that dress last night I could barely comprehend it. (could've been the wine?) A few of the wins surprised me, I was expecting 12 Years to get A LOT more love than it did.

    1. I should. It's hard enough to watch the ceremony as it is airing with three kids in the house though, so I'm lucky if I don't have to watch it HOURS after it has aired.

  2. Fun post! Love seeing Blanchett and Nyong'o top the list.

    I'm wondering if a potential DiCaprio push is coming. McConaughey can't win a BAFTA, so DiCaprio has a shot. If he manages to get an Oscar nod (on top of a BAFTA win), who knows? Either way, I just loved seeing my two male acting winners get an award, even if I give McConaughey a win for Mud instead of DBC.

    1. I could totally see DiCaprio making a play for Oscar if he gets nominated. His narrative will be strong, and his raves are unanimous. This is the performance of his career and seems to be a great place to reward him.