Wednesday, January 5, 2011

I'm gonna hate myself in the morning...

"I hate you Bob Harper"
So I had a preconceived idea for my post today, but that is just going to have to wait since last night was all about 'The Biggest Loser' and I had to talk about that today.  Not that this is going to be about the show or anything, but while I was sitting there watching a bunch of overweight people flop around and get screamed at for two hours I realized that I was eating ice cream.  Ha, I seriously wonder how many warm blooded Americans actually do the very same thing?  It's kind of a ritual in our house, to be honest.  'The Biggest Loser' is one of the many reality shows I obsess over (seriously, I'm a reality show junkie) and my wife and I usually sit in bed and snack while we watch our future selves (junk food does catch up with you, regardless of your metabolism) battle it out for a butt load of cash.  Maybe that is my destiny; to win the jackpot by becoming obese.

At least my wife is an exercise fiend and burns those calories pretty darn fast; but my motivational skills are nearly non-existent and so those calories seem to linger on my stomach a lot longer than they should.

So, while watching the guilty pleasure known as 'The Biggest Loser' I started thinking about what movies and, more importantly, what actors and or performances make me hate the way I look.  More recently I was propelled into a few weeks of extreme push ups thanks to a very 'revealing' performance by current 'it boy' Tom Hardy...
Apparently he got that body from doing like two-thousand push ups a day for five weeks, or something like that.  Yeah, I did about one-hundred push ups a day for a week and gave up.  Seriously, I need motivation I can never seem to find.  I'm far too busy to be so concerned about my waistline, and yet, if I don't start caring now then I'll one day qualify for the one reality show I DON'T want to compete on.  Anyways, when thinking of films that make me hate myself in the morning, there really is only one, and it's not a very expected one at that.  In all honestly, maybe once a year I stay up super late (which for me is like eleven o'clock) and eat cold Chinese food while watching 'The Fast and The Furious'.  I know, it's not the greatest movie in the world, but it's thoroughly entertaining.  Anyways, Vin Diesel always gets me pumped to work out and yet I refuse to put down the carton of Lo-Mein so how much good are Vin's pythons really doing?  Anyways, one day I will be able to pick up my wife by her tooshie and make it look effortless, but until then I will continue to wake up every morning, stare at my naked reflection, and pout.

"One of these day...one of these days!"

I could be so much hotter.

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